|
Frodo345
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Brian
Location: United States
Birthday: 11/5/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: Hanging with friends, IHOP, Math (algebra, for the most part), Physics, Various Animes, Rammstein and Flogging Molly, Driving around, DDR, Amplitude, reading and writing poetry, accidentally cyclically scaring the living shit out of people, and learning what it's like to be human
Expertise: Confusing people... especially myself
Occupation: Education/training
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
AIM:  DiffEq Nerd Mo
Member Since:
4/26/2003
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I have this anxiety of talking on the telephone. Part of it is because I often don't speak up as fast as some would like. Part of it is because I can't see the person on the other end. I have a tendency to ramble on even when I'm able to see someone, so I sometimes wonder whether the person on the other end is listening or just waiting for the conversation to end.
It's a curse... I sometimes wish I weren't a social creature, because then I wouldn't have to talk to anyone, and therefore I wouldn't have to worry about what they thought.
I've been alone for most of the summer. Rock and a Hard place... I could go back to my parent's house more often but I feel like I don't belong there now... whenever I go there, I get anxious after a while and need to get back here. It's one of those feelings I don't understand.
Ris has been gone most of the summer. It wouldn't be so bad if the time zones weren't nearly on opposite schedules. When she leaves a message at 11 her time, it shows up as 9 my time and I miss it since I'm still asleep. The staying up waiting for her backfires and suddenly I'm that guy who didn't call.
I really don't know who reads this anymore, but it usually was about rambling incoherently in a way which is almost therapeutic.
I have a lot of time to think, and the cat doesn't talk much. Maybe this is what they mean about thinking too much... you start to wonder...
I mean, people seem to think I'm successful. I don't know about that... I try to succeed but so far I haven't found anything I'm really good at that seems to matter to people...
The only thing that surprised me recently was hearing that my cousin missed me... it's bizarre. I didn't realize he cared that I existed even.
I mean, I _know_ that some people would prefer me alive to dead, but being alone gives you a lot of time to think and not much to say.
My apologies to anyone attempting to read this... I was speaking truthfully when I said that xanga was for my incoherent ramblings.
I'll be going to my parents' soon, though. It's my mother's birthday tomorrow - I already told her I don't have anything for her... she didn't seem to mind.
Y'know, I'm starting to wonder if I am even ready now... ...
I'm pretty sure I wasn't before, but I'm pessimistic... am I good enough?
I really hope so.
| | |
| - Ievan PolkkaI'm alive. Work starts again tomorrow, but I have no clue what I'll be doing.
| | |
| I'm staying up till about 1 or 2 doing homework stuffs.
| | |
|
AHHH, I'M GoInG TO Go InSaNe!!
| | |
| I just smelled my hand... I think my foot was marked by that rat, because my hand smells horrible now.
| | |
|